Dressing Up
May 19th, 2012 | admin
[A few photos friends and family recently put up on Facebook.]
I use to blog photos of myself regularly, even daily for some periods of time. The sense of vanity used to sometimes make me uncomfortable, but frankly I like being able to look back at them. I’m thinking about starting up a mini-blogging fashion project – simply dressing up once a week and documenting it. I can’t really wear dresses to work since there is a warehouse component to my job, but I have all these pretty clothes (and shoes) I like and want an excuse to wear. I’m trying to make an effort to wear them out on the weekends, so maybe I’ll take some pictures.
Take one: Bad lighting, but pretty day. Wet hair drying in the ocean breeze. Blue dress.
Need A Break
May 18th, 2012 | admin
Exhaustion led to me acting like a baby tonight. One who needed a nap. A walk on the beach helped, as did waffles for dinner, a new magazine, a glass of wine, and a patient boyfriend. I think it’s time to catch up on some rest and relaxation.
Link-spiration
May 17th, 2012 | admin
-I love when I have random ingredients in my kitchen (like peas and almonds and garlic), decide to combine them, and find out I’m not too far off from a Gourmet magazine recipe.
-I have these dreamy memories of visiting France when I was six. I’ve never forgotten this fantastic breakfast I had at a B&B and specifically remember eating bread with marmalade, and drinking out of bowls. But I always wondered if I made up the part about bowls. Turns out I didn’t! I want to start collecting these beautiful cafe au lait bowls now.
-This recap of a trip to London has me dying to go. I seriously must start planning some big-time traveling, even if it’s really far off, just to have something to look forward to. (Some smaller trips are in store for this summer.)
-Speaking of travel, the photography and writing at Journal Femme have been off the chain since Candace started documenting her new life in Cambodia.
-The Phantom of the Opera is going to be in movie theaters for its 25th anniversary and I have to go.
-Can I find a way to watch Sherlock online??
-What a Paris apartment should look like.
-“Best Gray Paint Colors According to Ryan Gosling.” Emily Henderson is so funny.
-I’ve seen a lot of articles about developing good habits that would improve my life, but this one particularly struck a chord with me for some reason. I am working on some (personal) professional goals and it feels good.
-Beautiful Fiona: “As ever, her devil-may-care-about-your-buzz-band presence holds a mirror up to our moment, a time when we’re sharing everything about our lives and yet nothing at all. Because while we’ve got no qualms with telling strangers what we ate for brunch or even showing our external wounds…Apple’s music traverses in the realm of things that are still difficult to share.”
Slow It Down
May 14th, 2012 | admin
High-strung. My mom has called me that more than once, and she’s right. I am an anxious, animated, high-strung person. This can lead to somewhat extreme moods and behaviors. I mean, not truly extreme, like staying up past 11pm or drinking more than two beers or driving a car alone before the age of 26, but in my own little way, extreme. Like, I’m not eating any sugar at all or I’m binging on powdered donuts. My house is a wreck or it’s sparkling clean. I go long periods of time without shopping and then splurge on $300 worth of clothes (ahem, to be fair, this past weekend’s purchases included two pairs of shoes and two bras). As soon as I complete one project, my mind is anxiously rushing ahead to the next. My unending quest in life is to find some kind of balance, but I am better at striving for perfection and then giving up completely when I fail (before trying again).
I got the damn chair that made my little heart accelerate so rapidly at first sight. To be fair, browsing shit on Craigslist does something unsettling to you; after looking at so much horrendous crap (with the occasional very expensive nice stuff thrown in) for sometimes weeks at a time, to suddenly spot a decent find at a decent price can be momentarily shocking. Like, my eyes will go big and I’ll say “ohmygod” out loud and do a double-take because I can’t believe I’ve stumbled across something that’s not absurdly ugly. My home decorating history is truly a story of snatching up the “Craigslist decent.” Honestly I don’t even know if this chair is actually cute or if my weary eyes were just thankful for a break from all the hideous shapes and patterns they’d been forced to take in. But you know that’s why I love Craigslist.
It’s raining today and I am deep cleaning after neglecting the place for weeks, ’cause that’s how I roll. Looking at these pictures, I must suppress the desire to obsess over the many details I would change(…the ugly wall sconce! the chair that still needs the cushion! the reflective poster frame! the too-small rug!). I will say that I am enjoying the open-space where some of my decluttering has been at work.
Missed Connections
May 7th, 2012 | admin
This chair is on Craigslist right now. For sale in my neighborhood. Lowered from $50 to $40, which means it didn’t sell immediately. It’s speaking to me. It’s so cute and comfy-looking. It’s vintage.
According to the listing, it’s “in great condition” and has “no stains, tears, or signs of wear.” It’s “blueish-gray” (perfect for my place). It’s even…”very soft and comfortable!”
I can’t think of a word other than sweet. This chair is sweet. I feel like I’m looking at a puppy.* It has bumped the $300 Homegoods armchair out of my mind. Will it be mine?? Oh merciful Craigslist seller, just tell me already: are my dreams of a creating a cozy reading nook to come true today? Or will it just be another missed connection?
*It’s the dopamine speaking.
Creating London
May 6th, 2012 | admin
I should be in bed, but I’m not too worried about it. I also have yet to unpack from a weekend at the beach and my dishes aren’t washed. But it’s raining outside and I have one of my new soy candles burning.
I feel like I’m in my own made up version of cozy, rainy England. I’ll barely even need the lovely Lillian to lull me sleep.
I’ve just finished off tonight’s dessert: a bowl of warm, buttery, sugary cream of wheat. A childhood favorite, total comfort food. And for tomorrow’s lunch, I’ve roasted tomatoes and sauteed spinach in garlic, olive oil, and Italian herbs. In other words, my house smells like heaven.
Normally I’d throw the vegetables on pasta but I realized all too late I didn’t have any. I did, however, I have quinoa, which I’ve never eaten before. So I cooked up a good amount of quinoa. Enough for tomorrow’s Mediterranean style lunch, and enough to combine with black beans, avocado, lime juice, and cumin later in the week.
To continue the food talk, my breakfast this morning was pretty delightful. My meals have been coming together easily and tastily. The eggs, cooked slowly (Smitten Kitchen style) with scallions and sharp cheddar cheese, and topped hot sauce, were some of my best yet. Not pictured from breakfast: rosemary potatoes, leftover from an Irish pub the night before.
I’ve spoiled myself quite a bit in the last few days, including doing somewhat extravagant shopping, mainly for clothes (and of course soy candles). But I think I’ve got the shopping bug out of my system now that my wardrobe is a little more updated with some summer dresses and capris, blouses for work, a blazer, a long skirt, shoes, accessories, and underthings. So much for my recent post on saying “no” to purchases 
Busy week ahead but I like to think I’m rejuvenated enough to take it on with gusto.
Elements of Style
April 28th, 2012 | admin
I have an aversion to a lot of the art I see in home decor blogs and the more popular Etsy shops–that cartooney aesthetic that’s everywhere. I guess that’s sort of pop art right now. I see these beautiful homes that look organic and timeless and graceful and then there’s this trendy cartoonish art that just detracts from all that (for me). But I also often feel repelled by art in museums. Abstract art. Minimalist art. Stuff that knowledgeable artsy people like and create. Art you have to “get.” I just shut off. Maybe I just don’t like art. I think what I’m most drawn to are pieces to which I feel some sentimental personal connection. Pieces that are not overly cutesy but not difficult to interpret. Photographs of places I’d like to visit. Folksy paintings of everyday items in colors I love. Images of food. Gifts from loved ones.
In this age of inspirationinspirationinspiration, I’ve recently felt strength and individuality in not liking things. It’s sort of like when I go shopping for clothes and nothing fits, nothing works, nothing looks good. There’s a little bit of relief. Because it’s so much harder to practice self-control when everything fits perfectly and looks beautiful. It’s agonizing to make a decision about what to buy and what to put back. But maybe as I get older, fewer items are perfect to me because I’m actually developing my own sense of style and taste. I can say no to more. No, I don’t like that; no, I don’t want that. Or maybe I like it but I still don’t want it. Because even though it’s nice, it’s not for me. Last weekend, flexing my new independent driving muscles, I spent a day making my way between my favorite antique mall, a flea market, and several thrift stores, enjoying the views but purchasing nothing. Saying no to it all. Of course my small budget helps. I don’t have the option of saying too many yes’s. But there’s some wiggle room.
I bought this little aqua vase on a whim the other day. It was 75% off in a fancy boutique that was next to my dry cleaner’s and even though I tried to ignore it, my eye kept wandering over to it. I was just drawn to it. I decided I might as well honor the yes at that moment, especially since the price was right.
There was another yes recently: A blue, floral, fat little armchair by Lane at Homegoods. It was sort of shabby chic, different than anything I have, but I keep envisioning what a perfect comfy reading chair it would have been in my sea of retro, angular, even hard furniture. Unfortunately it was too expensive, and then it was gone, which is okay, because a few weeks later, it would still have been too expensive.
My power went out the other night so I packed up a few clothes in the dark and went to my boyfriend’s house. I had to bring my work clothes for the next morning and I grabbed an outfit that felt so “me” the next day that I didn’t mind getting ready for work at his place, even though I didn’t have most of my things with me. Black flats, black skinny jeans, black and white striped shirt, black blazer. Simple, easy, fitted, classic, comfortable, a little pulled together but ultimately casual. That’s what I like.
What else do I like? What did I love as a kid? What do I love when I’m out walking around? What books and films have informed my taste? My illustrated copy of Heidi. Antique stores and old bookshops. Small homes and B&Bs in the UK, France, Croatia, Portugal. Turner Classic Movies.
Remember
April 22nd, 2012 | admin
Remember this day:
Touring the organic farm (and eating blueberry cream pie…sugar detox be damned on weekends)
Breakfast for lunch at Cracker Barrel (not ashamed to love CB)
Three mile bike ride on the beach (matching pink cruisers)
Boys II Men and Len on the 90s radio (Motownphilly, If You Steal My Sunshine)
Rain and sunshine
Love, love, love
Mikey
April 16th, 2012 | admin
is it wrong that i’m watching football, in a fantasy football draft, but listening to adele?
Finding this so hard to process. The loss of an old friend I rarely saw in person but talked to online pretty often, the way it happened, the media coverage, the Facebook aftermath, the long history of pain and mental illness that maybe no one will ever fully understand. But the closest I ever felt to him was when I felt low and alone and he understood. I just hope his family is doing okay, finds peace, not guilt. There is clearly so much love there.
gainesville and the uf cycling team might be the best things that have ever happened to me
Feeling like the internet can help people mourn and heal but also that it sometimes confuses the grieving process. Feeling like an idiot for not knowing he’d broken his fucking back months ago. Feeling ashamed for not being a better friend. Hating the way I can never say the right thing. Feeling ashamed for thinking of myself at a time like this.
Thinking of how happy he was to get into UF. Wishing I hadn’t been leaving just as he was coming. Thinking of how much he loved his dog and his bike and his school. Reading through our old FB messenger conversations. Feeling very mortal and not wanting to be alone tonight.
UF student loses battle to mental illness with suicide jump at stadium
When his son called him Sunday to say he loved him, there was something in his voice that he knew wasn’t right.
“He said ‘Daddy I really love you,’ ” Michael Edmonds said. “And I said ‘Mikey, don’t do this.’ And he said ‘Daddy, I can’t deal with this. It just hurts too much.’ ”
Then he got another call. This time it sounded like his son was having second thoughts.
But Edmonds wasted no time. He loaded up the truck and headed toward Gainesville, where Michael Richard Edmonds Jr. studied journalism at the University of Florida. His son, Edmonds said, had already called 911.
He had barely made it to Starke, however, when he got a call.
Authorities told him it appeared that his 26-year-old son had taken his own life, a life that had been held hostage by a bi-polar disorder. He leapt from the upper level of Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, where he and his dad had shared many Gators memories together.
…She said her son left a suicide note, saying his love for his family and his dog were the only reasons he had wanted to live.
University of Florida student remembered for love of animals, cycling
He told me to check out Kate Earl, that she was amazing (and that he was going to marry her).
If I could touch one lonely soul,
If I could heal and be so bold
To be a star, to be a light,
set one heart on fire;
that’s all I ever wanted
That’s all I want,
that’s all I ever really wanted…
That’s all I ever wanted
If it’s wrong for me to want to change the world with what I got
let me make my own mistakes,
that’s a chance I’m gonna take
If I’m right, I saw you all,
in my dreams so long ago
And if you’re broken, you should know,
I’m here, you’re not alone
If I could touch one lonely soul,
If I could heal and be so bold
To be a star, to be a light,
set one heart on fire;
that’s all I ever wanted
That’s all I want,
that’s all I ever really wanted…
That’s all I ever wanted
star light, star bright, I’m gonna make it right
star light, star bright, I’ll be their star tonight
star light, star bright, yes I may, yes I might
alright, alright, I’m gonna make it right
If I could touch one lonely soul,
If I could heal and be so bold
To be a spot, to be a light,
set one heart on fire;
that’s all I ever wanted
That’s all I want,
that’s all I ever really wanted…
that’s all I ever wanted